“I am bi-sexual” – The Tale of a Man and Woman

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I had been seeing this hot guy for over two years now, my wonderful boyfriend – Steve! I fell in love with him and life changed completely. He has been one of my closest and best friends since the time we started out together. Dating an incredible guy like him was a treat and being intimate with him made me come alive, made me feel sensual and exotic in a beautiful way, and made my entire being feel special. Such was his touch. But the best part was he is also a great conversationalist, and someone with whom I could share almost anything. This evening, after our coffee date, we were strolling around the park. It was a beautiful day and a not-so-hot summer evening. The wind was blowing right into my face and its caress felt so good.

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That very moment I spotted another amazing couple. The woman was extraordinarily stunning, so attractive, a dazzling beauty; that I lost count of the adjectives that I wanted to use for her. I couldn’t take my eyes off her even for a fraction of a second. Steve, my dear boyfriend caught me ogling at her and smiled. I looked at him and flushed. “Hey Steve, you know I am attracted to women too, right? Baby, do you know I am bisexual?” Pat came the reply from Steve, “sweets, I’ve known that for over a year and a half.” I suddenly felt as if a big boulder was lifted off my chest that time. I never wanted to hide anything from Steve, he has been such a strong support in every way and yet it was so difficult for me to utter the words “I am bisexual.” In fact this was the first time I ever said it, and did it feel good or what. The courage it took to come up with those words was tremendous. But now, I felt I could fly suddenly; especially after Steve’s cool reaction. He simply held my hand and we kept walking for another twenty minutes, talking about some not-so-important and some important things.

I think Steve has always been a good observer and perhaps has never missed a chance to notice how my eyes used to get lit up every time I saw a beautiful woman, not to forget the drop-dead gorgeous looking men. The truth is that I haven’t been with another man after Steve. He has been the only MAN ever since. But of course, there have been countless women. Like the one I met at the movies the other day. She was alone and so was I. The way our eyes met, we knew what our sexual preferences were and we hit it off like a house on fire. Later that evening, she came over and what happened after that is history. I wasn’t really looking for a night one stand with a stunning woman, but sometimes it is just that. You get attracted and have this thing with someone and once you are done there is no compulsion to keep in touch or make commitments. The best part is that women these days are so open to such relationships. It isn’t about having fun the physical way. It is all about attraction and connection. After a few years of hook-ups with men and women, I have understood my sexuality better. I have understood myself better. So, while I promised myself there will be no other man till I have a steady relationship with Steve, I can’t make a similar promise when it comes to women.

Frankly, it has taken me a while to come to terms with spilling the beans about my dual sexual preferences. I’ve had to take baby steps to tell my closest companions that I’ve made out with women, sometimes known ones and many a times unknown ones for a long time now. I really think sexuality is fluid, and can you really help who you’re attracted to. But it has been a difficult journey. Coming out of the closest was never easy. People aren’t used to listening to the fact that a woman or for that matter a man is attracted to more than one gender. Though it is yet considered safer for people to announce their sexual preferences towards one specific gender, being a bi-sexual is still considered a taboo in most places. That’s why I never really felt safe confiding in people. Though friends are very supportive, sometimes I fear what their reactions would be. Sometimes I also think of what I would go through if they disowned me because of this.

But Steve helped me change it all. Not only did our intimacy help but it also ignited a deep trust in each other. And somehow my subconscious mind knew that he was going to accept the fact gracefully and happily. In fact the smile on his face after I disclosed my secret was so reassuring. I realized it was time to start over and own my sexuality. Being in a relationship with a man like Steve made me realize that I didn’t have to be apologetic about myself and how I felt, because my sexuality did make me feel good. It was only fair to him and his unbelievable support and love that I should let the cat out of the bag. Most of all I am indebted to Steve because he made me feel safe about the way I felt and about what I wanted to share with him and the world. And for that I will be forever grateful.

 

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